


yes its you i welcome death with

by diocock



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Unrequited Love, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25096441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diocock/pseuds/diocock
Summary: the typical "he loved her too soon, she loved him too late."3x03 and 5x01/5x05 compliant.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Implied Clarke Griffin/Lexa - Relationship, implied Bellamy Blake/Echo
Kudos: 19





	yes its you i welcome death with

**Author's Note:**

> for nic <3

“Clarke, we need to leave. Now.” Though he’s impressed himself with how steady his voice is, no one else seems to care. It’s as if he hasn’t said anything at all, and everyone continues to converse amongst themselves and say their frantic goodbyes. All the white noise fades away and Bellamy finds himself staring at Clarke, as always. 

As soon as the mother and daughter pair stop hugging and Abby steps away, there’s a clear path towards Clarke. For a moment, Bellamy just holds eye contact with her, refusing to acknowledge the way his heartbeat picks up ever so slightly at the sight of her. The last time he had seen Clarke, held captive by the grounder, he was too in a frenzy trying to save her to really get a good look at her. But now, she looks… 

_She looks…_

Bellamy swallows, and steps forward. Clarke stays still as he keeps moving, and within no time at all they’re directly in front of each other, barely any space between them. His fingers twitch, wanting to move on their own accord and touch, make sure she’s real and she’s okay. As he looks over Clarke, he sees her gaze falter. He follows what, or rather who, she’s looking at and his jaw clenches.

“She left us to die in that mountain,” Bellamy says without thinking, because he feels the need to and why is Clarke always looking at someone else? Once he’s opened the floodgates it seems like he can’t keep his mouth shut, and he continues, “She will _always_ put her people first.” 

Clarke stays silent. Even now, she can’t meet his gaze without flinching and Bellamy feels like he’s losing her again. No, no, _why?_

He feels panicked now, almost frantic. He can't lose her again, he should've been stronger to fight ice nation for her. But he's determined, and just all the more hopeful. _Maybe this time..._

“You should come home to yours.” His voice catches in his throat but he doesn’t care, too busy desperately maintaining eye contact with Clarke. Bellamy hopes she catches the hidden meaning behind his desperate tone, and what he is too cowardly of saying out loud. Please. Please come home to _me._

Her silence stretches on for hours though it’s only two seconds, and before she opens her mouth he already knows he’s lost her. Again.

“I’m sorry…” Clarke whispers, and Bellamy has to physically hold back a breath from how those two words were delivered to him like a gunshot to his chest. He breaks eye contact to stare at Commander Lexa for a brief moment, then takes a small step back.

Bellamy looks at Clarke one final time and wishes he hadn’t, because she looks near tears and he can’t help her because he isn’t the one she chose.

As he storms out of the building, Bellamy can almost find it funny how he always puts his heart on the line for Clarke, _always_ for her, yet she will never meet him halfway. 

~

Clarke always remembers every single radio call she sent to Bellamy. 

In the very first one, she was delirious. Having gone without water for two days and living off of stale crackers and sand, she was sure that she was done for.

“In case this is the last time I get to do this,” she rasped out, gripping the radio with all her strength. “I just want to say…”

Even at being her closest to death, she couldn’t confess that she was in love with him. 

“Please don’t feel bad about leaving me here.” She ended the radio call and choked back tears. It doesn’t get more pathetic than that, she was sure of it.

The last time she radioed Bellamy, she almost did it. 

“It’s been safe for you to come down over a year now, why haven’t you?” Clarked asked the radio, and had sighed. “I don’t even know if you’re getting these. Listen, Bellamy.” 

She was oddly nervous but she had to do this. It wouldn’t be like last time.

“If I never see you again,” Clarke said, and swallowed at the thought of that. If there was any being looking out for her, _please_ let her see him again. She continued, “Even if you never radio me back, I need you to know that I love–”

A loud noise interrupted her, and she clicked off the radio as she looked into the sky, squinting. Clarke gasped at the sight of the spaceship, hurtling towards the ground and more importantly, towards her. 

_He’s here. Bellamy’s home._

Clarke had laughed shakily, in disbelief and wonder. Maybe there really was someone on her side, after all. She grabbed the radio tightly, and pressed down on the button. “Nevermind, Bellamy. I’ll tell you when you land.”

“Are you okay?” Madi asks, and Clarke blinks as she’s brought back to the present, where Bellamy and Echo are sucking face without a care in the world. “You’ve been staring at them for a while…”

“I’m fine,” Clarke says, but from the look the young girl gives her, it’s obvious she’s not a great liar. She leaves the conversation at that, and tries to keep her focus on Madi.

She fails.

Clarke can feel her chest tighten and it almost hurts to breathe as she looks at them. Her head hurts, and for just the smallest moments she tortures herself with the question of _What if?_ What if he heard every word she said on the radio, and she couldn’t hear him? What if she had confessed to him then? What if–

Clarke cuts off her train of thought at the sight of Bellamy’s bright smile, directed towards her. She feels herself smiling back, albeit sadly. 

She's at the halfway point, but there’s no one waiting for her anymore.

  
  



End file.
